17: Perfection and Sharks
Last week I started writing something and the words just fell out. It was scary. I usually find trying to force myself to work on a personal project difficult, especially when it's something I really want to do. Perfectionism is a hell of a drug.
When you're told you're a perfectionist, but your hair's a mess and you've got 14 books on your "now reading" pile (it's actually 16 now) and you got a 2:1 in your degree, it sounds laughable. But then the truths come. You're afraid to start things because you won't be able to carry them out perfectly. You don't finish things you're not 100% happy with because there's no point in completing something that's flawed. It's better not to try than to fail.
I didn't like this. I don't like it when anyone tells me a truth about myself to be honest, but this was a particularly hurtful one. What do you mean I don't try hard enough? Are you saying I can't be bothered to succeed?
No. That's not what perfectionism is. It's about not wanting to shovel effort after effort into something and it not turn out exactly as you wanted it to. Perfection isn't attainable. It doesn't stop me from fearing that everything I do won't be perfect.
That's what this newsletter is, by the way. I send it out knowing it's not perfect. It's terrifying, but it seems to be doing me good. I've written almost 10,000 words of something I'm tentatively calling a novel and I'm nowhere near stopping yet. Perfect is bullshit.
Other Stuff
Meet the Algonquin Hotel cat, a polite and friendly concierge who can't validate your parking, but may validate your existence. His name is Hamlet VIII and he's got four oil portraits of himself.
Todd Phillips is a slurry puddle of a man but everyone has used up all their meaningless swearwords on him already. This skewering of him is fair and eviscerating.
Finlay Pringle is the hero sharks, and the rest of the world, needs.
Cookbook tester and editor JJ Goode has written about what chefs do that home cooks definitely shouldn't bother their arses doing. And it's so relieving.
Garrett Oliver has written about pairing beers with art for the MoMA and it's brilliant. So thoughtful and playful. That bit about IPA and Boat Ride, Rye Beach and toxic male energy? Yowch. The Double IPA paired with Elaine de Kooning's vibrant, explosive "Bullfight". And he admits he likes Newcy Brown too, which I massively approve of.
A beautiful and sweetly funny look at the tolerant, inclusive, diverse country of Jordan, and its emerging drinks scene. God I want to go drink Carkale's beers.
A fascinating look at the breweries of Palestine's West Bank by Robin LeBlanc. I was pleasantly surprised to read in this that one of the brewers studied in Preston. It's a small world.
Scientists are finding that the most accurate records they can use to chart climate change are from wine grape harvests. Wine history is climate change history, from its trends to its disasters.
Quite a tongue in cheek one here from Outside magazine linking the history of civilisation alongside rivers, using beer label art. It's a reach, but I enjoyed it.
The beautiful mosaics of Zeugma, Turkey, rescued from flood damage.
Parenting in the American beer industry -- a vital and revealing look at how little support there is for parent brewers. As well as being a great piece on an important subject, please click the link for adorable photos of Danii Oliver, owner of Island to Island Brewing's, beautiful kids.
Spiders can fly. I don't mean to alarm you, but it's true. And the way they do it is by drifting off on celestial electrical currents. Newfound respect for spiders, to be honest.
My stuff
If you subscribe to Beer52 or get Ferment magazine, I've got three articles in there this month -- one on wine, one on cider in the Isle of Man, and one on playing pool in a social club. Have a butchers.
The Elderberry Porter Tom and I brewed at Moorhouse's last month is now available at Holmes Mill in Clitheroe and the Thirsty Fish in Bury.
I'm heading off to Mosel on Sunday. My luggage is now mostly books. Currently running on 98% fear, 2% brandy.
I handed in my notice with several of my marketing clients this week so I can concentrate on writing my book. God, writing that sentence was difficult. While I'm sure this wasn't a terrible idea, if you enjoy receiving these newsletters please consider sending me a pint via Ko-fi. I need support and encouragement now more than ever! Reaching out like this feels horrible! Yikes I am bad at this! Thank you!
Section of mosaic from Zeugma, Turkey.