49: Mindfulness Soup
When lockdown started, I learned so much about my mental health from Instagram. Memes about trauma and PTSD appeared more often -- maybe because of friends engaging with them, maybe because I was interacting with similar memes for the first time. Some were really helpful. One encouraged me to reach out to my family.
Being shut in made me less cynical of text-art affirmations. I was liking things I'd never be seen dead liking in the past. Strangers telling me to "stay lucky" and "be kind to yourself". Bubble writing, flowers and steaming mugs of tea. I was agitated and had an attention span of zero, and they were helping me to see that I wasn't the only one. That I needed to give myself a break. (I can easily give myself a hard time for not working while I'm actually working.) Recently though, the affirmations have changed, and I'm noticing a sinister tone. It's fine not to move all day, if that's what I want. I can sleep for as long as I like, because I am nourishing my body with rest (and plus, lucky me I guess, I don't have a job to go to.) I can say whatever I want to people, because I'm growing as a person and only the good ones will stick around.
In a particularly bad bleak hole last week, memes told me it was the norm to feel this way. That there was no use fighting it. Luckily I'm experienced enough in depression and intrusive/suicidal thoughts to realise (eventually) that this is total crap. However, some people aren't as bored of the cycle's bullshit as I am. For some people, it's as fresh and searing and painful as ever.
I wanted to use my newsletter this week to ask you to check in with anyone you haven't heard from in a little while. To report any memes you see online that could give people dangerous ideas -- or that just seem plain irresponsible. To promise to look after yourselves as the uncertainty of the moment rolls on, and remember that as much as I want you to take care of yourselves, it is so you do something good for you. Do what soothes you, but also take care of your body and your mind too. Self-care, as far as I understand it, doesn't mean making yourself comfortable all the time. It means doing things like taking your medications, or continuing with therapy, or returning to CBT techniques (that's what I've been doing), or taking a deep breath and calling or messaging a friend when you feel like you can't or that they might be struggling with something you don't quite understand. It can mean admitting to yourself that even though you're "generally fine" something is the matter and you need to take some time to deal with it, or just remembering to drink water, eat vegetables, or doing some exercise. It can mean not slipping into duvet-soft bleak thoughts and doing uncomfortable things instead. Even the most mentally fortified people are struggling at the moment. You matter. I hope you know that.
Other Stuff
I've never been to the Free Trade Inn, but it sounds like my sort of place. A grand mix of people, decent beers, welcoming to all. I'm glad Martin Flynn chose to write about it.
The other week I shared a great article on the fake beer brand invented by a prop company that pops up in all the TV shows I watch. Graphic designer Annie Atkins who worked on, among many other TV shows and movies,The Grand Budapest Hotel has written a book about designing props and graphics that suit the look, feel and atmosphere of the work they appear in. How amazingly cool is that?
Speaking about books (when am I not tbh), this one called The New Traditional really taps into an itchy part of my brain that wants to think deeply about modern trends returning to "heritage crafts", and how these things become co-opted by wealthier people as lifestyle choices. Keeping traditions alive is, imo, a grand endeavour, but even grander is recognising the people who continued to do so when newer processes took their place over the 20th century, and not being congratulatory towards people who "rediscovered" these arts and crafts. I don't own this book but I've been considering buying it, so if you've read it I'd love to know what you thought!
I've been enjoying Jia Tolentino's writing this week. I've also been enjoying reading about what other writers think about Jia Tolentino's writing. Andrea Marks interviewed her for Rolling Stone and it's a great, balanced-on-the-complimentary-side read. The Paris Review can't get enough of her in this gushing interview by Brian Ransom. Lauren Oyler at the London Review Of Books has a complex relationship with her writing, but ultimately thinks, in Tolentino's book at least, she's self-obsessed and lacking in depth and conviction. I like this. It tells me: "make your own mind up."
Browse the entire National Gallery collection via their site. I'm going to be doing this tomorrow, rosé in hand.
Speaking of rosé, a new wine newsletter called J'Adore le Plonk by Rachel Hendry began this week and this week's topic -- why rosé is her favourite -- made me want to revisit pink wine. (I'm usually a white wine guy)
Helen Rosner spoke to activist-artist Tunde Wey about his assertions that the restaurant industry should be allowed to die. It's a brilliant read.
The virus has taken so much from us, but as James Greig writes in this heartbreaking piece, it's also taken away our rituals of grief. I do recommend this read, but it's very sad. Just a warning.
A huge and important essay on radical body positivity, moving easily between diet culture, EDs, fatphobia, race and feminism.
I revisited some old demons this week related to being managed badly in the past. This article on the Productivity Myth really highlights some of the terrible working practices we may not even realise we've been labouring under.
My Stuff
I'm a short story comp this week, so all good vibes over the ether are appreciated
Find a copy of Ferment Magazine to read my latest published pieces
I'm still looking for cool things to share in The Gulp's birthday edition! Send things you like to katiematherwrites@gmail.com
If you enjoy this newsletter and you feel like contributing towards it's continued success (?), tips sent via my ko-fi page are always hugely appreciated. Thank you!
Annie Atkins' "Mendl's" prop from The Grand Budapest Hotel