Deal
Who's shuffled these?
In the corner of the New Inn, I deal cards. I’ve never been a master card player, but I’ve married into a family who take cards very seriously — don’t touch the discarded pile like that, keep your eyes on your own. I have a pack in my bag all the time, and we have our favourites. Mine, bought on the ferry back from the Isle of Man. Tom’s a pack of "standard “air cushion” Bicycle cards, the type poker players prefer. I’ve always wanted to shuffle like a croupier, but I’ve never actually practiced or tried. Story of my life.
We play Rummy. I have no memory for any of the other rules, despite my father in law trying to teach me Stop The Cab every few months. At high school, I used to play a game called shithead in the common room, we doubled the pack so the games would last forever, dragging on into lessons we should have gone to. These are some of my favourite school memories.
We bought a cribbage peg board, but I don’t know how to use it. I’ve seen people play it in the pub, but it seems like a lot of counting. I don’t like to count. I play cards the way I do everything in life — match the colours and shapes, bluff, act on the spur of the moment. It’s a part of my drinking experience, not the main focus of my attention. I would be terrible at Blackjack. I’d just keep hitting. Give me more cards. I want to see what the next one is. I passed my target a long time ago, but I’m still waiting for the King of Spades.
