The Hidden Depths of a Cheese Single

Wrapped in plastic, forever in my heart.

There are few snacks that satisfy my cravings for savouriness, butter and bread like a cheese single between two thickly-spread slices of seeded. It has to be soft seeded — I’m partial to Warbie’s Toasty for most other applications, but when I make butties, I’m a stickler for quality. Despite the cheese I choose for them.

Cheese singles have no integrity, and neither do I. Put them in a sandwich and they become one with the rest of the combination almost immediately, no heat required. A solid version of cheese sauce. They are my secret weapon in a homemade grilled cheese — put all your gruyere and your raclette you want into a toastie, but if you don’t place a single or two on top of the grated cheese, you’re missing a trick. It oozes instantly. It shows the rest of the cheese how to do it. Instant lasagne sauce.

I already eat TKG for breakfast most days — imagine my joy when I found out you can avoid the egg and lay a square of fake cheese on your hot sushi rice and mix it in like a gooey condiment. When I learned that a lot of Korean snack foods often have an element of processed cheese involved, that was it for me. Gilgeori toast became a staple food in my house. It quickly became bastardised to suit my usual fridge contents: sometimes adding leftover roasted veg, sometimes adding kimchi or chillies, sometimes making it as plain as possible to suit the days when I can only face butter, cheese and bread. It’s always good. I recommend it.

Cheese singles were always in my fridge growing up, even if my mum would never admit it. I’m not sure what they were for, perhaps impromptu barbecues or burger nights, but I know we weren’t really supposed to eat them. They weren’t really food. That’s not too far from the truth actually — when Kraft invented the cheese single in 1950, their marketing centred around the high levels of processed milk protein rather than the origin of the foodstuff. In 2002, the Food and Drug Administration gave a decided that singles could not be legally labelled as "Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food.“ In order for a food product to be a true “cheese,” it has to be more than half cheese, which is technically pressed curds of milk. Being that each Kraft American single contains less than 51% curds, they do not meet the standard. They are technically a “Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product.” In America (I don’t know what the UK regulations are currently given we’re not in the EU anymore, ffs, but I’m assuming we’re similar) the ingredients include preservatives including antimicrobial agents that inhibit the growth of bacteria and mould. Delicious! In a world that’s becoming more and more concerned with natural, back to the earth foods, I kindof respect its grim refusal to get anywhere near the real thing. Fuck it. You’re number 1. Why try harder?

Just This One Thing

I know I normally put a list of links here and that’s usually the best part of this newsletter, but today I have something else to say instead.

I’ve made a book.

Glug, the wine magazine by Wine52 which I am commissioning editor for (send me your pitches: katie@wine52.com) have published a book filled with essays and stories about wine, curated and partially written by me.

It’s called the Glug Wine Almanac, because I wanted to take a look at wine throughout the seasons, from the barren, frozen ground of the winter months, right through the buzz and burst of spring, the sunny days of summer until the vendange of autumn.

There are pieces by myself, Claire Bullen, Susan Boyle, Rachel Hendry, Jemma Beedie, Laura Hadland and a host of others included, all taking seasonal looks at wine, wine culture, and the technical aspects of tasting, drinking, storing, ageing and making wine. It’s also filled with the sort of beautiful illustrations I could only have dreamed of having in something I made.

I’m extremely proud of this project, and of everyone who put their heart into working so hard to make it the book I wanted it to be.

You’ll be able to buy it later on this year, release date TBC. More info on the book will be going up on my Instagram soon.

I hope you enjoy it when you get a chance to read it.